Let me help you to talk to me

I once habitually made statements whenever someone moved on me about something. I responded from my frame of reference rather than helping the person say what they were trying to say.

I've learned that such statements cause short circuits.

Now, when I am at my best, I find creative ways to ask these questions of the person moving on me:

What do your words mean?

Why are using those particular words?

What is the idea behind the words?

What is the reason for the words?

When the exchange allows, I play back all that I think I understand and ask my conversation partner if she/he has been understood.

I stay on this path until my partner is satisfied.